Happy Halloween!… The full moon made me do it 🙃🌕

Stepping out of the dining hall a few nights ago I looked up at the moon nearly full and thought: there's no time like the present to let go of attachments... So I shaved my beard off!

I barely recognized myself when I saw my bare face for the first time since high school, but here at the monastery where the monks and nuns all have shaved heads and no facial hair, it felt like the right time to hit reset on that. Besides the cold face and sunburnt lips, I have to admit it's quite liberating. When the moon was completely full the next night, I had a little fire ceremony to say goodbye to my mustache hairs along with a written list of thoughts and feelings I was ready to let go of. It was a beautiful way to celebrate the impermanence of things.

It's kind of funny now to look back at who I was when I first started wearing facial hair. I remember being in high school before I could really grow a beard, being roasted by a small group of peers who said I looked like a girl with my long hair. Now I recognize that the whole situation (the teasing and the urge to grow a beard and show them what's up) was just a toxic masculine mess, but I remember thinking at the time that a beard would fix my whole image and make me feel really cool. I loved my long curly hair and wasn't going to cut it because of a few jealous bullies, but I have to wonder if the facial hair styles I've kept into my 30's had anything to do with that boyhood desire to look tough, rugged, grown up... And so to rebel against that in the here and now, I present to you this picture of my 34 year old baby face 😅:

On a silly note, last night 40 or so nuns busted into the monks' meditation hall in Halloween costumes to surprise us, and we all laughed so much our faces were sore. There's a lot of joy in this place 🎃